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<p>I just did a hilarious yoga class where this skinny teacher and her skinny assistant laid down on their backs with straps under their lumbar curves and made a big fuss about how hard they had to work not to pull them out. &#8220;Can you feel how hard your abs have to work to hold [&hellip;]</p>

<p>How to survive a forty minute MRI 1) In your head, run through all your current accordion songs to the beat of the machine. It will be like a very weird accordion industrial party. Don’t accidentally squeeze the emergency alert ball, even if you get caught up thinking about bellows directions. 2) Then run through [&hellip;]</p>

<p>If you take a tour of my college, they show you two gyms. They describe one as the gym for “more chill workouts” and the other as the “serious free weight gym.” These descriptions annoy me whenever the tour comes through the chill gym and I’m standing there panting with my red face and calloused [&hellip;]</p>